What up everybody! So, I haven’t been as busy as I would LIKE to be, but I’m still getting a whole lot done that’s for sure! Anyway, finished up a couple of reviews and figured I’d post them ASAP since I already had a few older reviews upped as it was. Nice to get a full update ready before actually making a post of it! Hopefully you guys are digging the changes that I’ve made recently, but don’t worry, more to come as soon as I can get my butt to work!

NEW REVIEWS

Deep Red - I last saw Deep Red around seven or eight years ago and I was left with a fairly unappealing view of the film - but now several years down the way and I have re-watched the film and I have to say: I was a fool. Deep Red is every bit of the brilliant Argento giallo classic that everyone makes it out to be and I am so glad I waited until this re-watch to write down my thoughts on the film because as it is now I was blown away with the film.

The New Barbarians - It’s Italian. It’s a post-apocalyptic action flick. Hey, it has George Eastman in it AND it was directed by Enzo G. Castellari, if you’re not sold on New Barbarians whatever could my words do? I’m not going to say it’s perfect, far from it, but it was a groovy little action flick with a decent amount of gore for this kind of vehicle. Better than I would have expected for the genre, but still probably not an immortal classic.

OLD REVIEWS

Don’t Open Til’ Christmas - The undiscovered sequel to Halloween, retitled from “Christmas” to “Don’t Open Til’ Christmas” in order to appease copyright laws… okay, that was an outright lie. Truthfully, I’ve never seen it but Prof. Aglaophotis seemed to dislike it and I always trust the belief if the ever-fair Mr. Aglaophotis didn’t like it then chances are it can’t be that great. Check out Aggy’s review!

Dracula Has Rise From the Grave - The hits keep on coming in this Prof. Aglaophotis marathon of reviews from the vault, with his take on this classic bit of horror. Aggy seemed to really dig this one so chances are it’s most definitely worth tracking down, once again he beat me to the punch though and I have not seen!

Dracula’s Daughter - The oldest film reviewed here on Varied Celluloid, but you know what, we don’t discriminate! Independent, big budget, old, new, yesterday, the future - it’s all welcome here as long as it fits that certain quality and unique character that all of the films reviewed on the site have. Dracula’s Daughter is yet another Aglaophotis reviewed film and it seems like he really enjoyed it, but if you’re not prepared to watch a film from the 30’s - then keep away, you prejudice so-and-so!

Don’t Look in the Basement - A classic bit of horror reviewed by none other than Prof. Aglaophotis (all old reviews from the man himself this week, what can I say, the guy liked films starting with the letter D) and two things come to mind when I read the title. First, the remake of the film that is currently underway and second thing: I DON’T WANNA GO… DOOOOOOWN TO THE BAAAASEEMENT. Yeah, not the same words, but it’s so close to the song I can’t help but think of The Ramones, sorry!

Driller Killer - Ahh, a Aglaophotis review for a film I have indeed seen! Aggy loves it and so do I, Abel Ferrara’s classic about a down and out New York artist slowly losing his mind while being pushed to the edge - it’s a claustrophobic and exciting look at a strange and bizarre culture as well as the human psyche after it has been battered and bruised… there’s also a lot of punk rock, some bums getting their heads drilled into and a couple of lesbians. Whoohoo!

So that looks like another update people! Hope everyone enjoys the festivities and once again I’ll plead, get on those forums! Can always use some new opinions around this place and those of us who post on there are some open minded fellas!

Hey everybody, just working on the site some today. First, I’m re-organizing the “reviews” section and separating all of the reviews into different genres, film ratings, etc. I’m just getting started on this and if you can’t tell there are a LOT of reviews to go through and add all of this information to format. So, in due time I plan to have a lot of different separate sections for blaxploitation, exploitation, asian, horror, euro-cult, etc. Should be fun!

Also, since I’m now adding the galleries in the reviews themselves - I needed something for the multimedia section. So, from now on, I’m just going to post whatever photoshops I make or anyone else wants to submit as well as anything else I can come up with. Maybe some day I’ll start putting up video clips as well - but that’s quite a bit off from now though for sure! Check ‘em out!

Hey everybody! Despite being busy, hanging out with my brother who has recently moved in and such, I was able to sneak in some film and writing time just for all of you! So for those of you who enjoy the galleries, the reviews and the recommendations - here you go!

Hardcore - This is a film I have been wanting to check out for quite a while now. I’m a big fan of George C. Scott, as well as the Nicholas Cage thriller 8mm which I was told had many similarities to this film right here. Although I don’t talk about it much in the review, 8mm really does and it owes a whole lot to this film right here.

Ilsa - Tigress Of Siberia - That ol’ girl is at it again! C’mon Ilsa/Olga/Dyanne Thorne - is it really necessary to torture all those people?… yeah, you’re right, they really do. Tigress is pretty much considered the weakest of the Ilsa movies. I have to disagree personally, as I had a fairly decent time and had the film kept up the pace of the first thirty minutes I would push this up as one of the best in the series that I have seen and would be battling the first film for the top spot… but as you can tell, unfortunately that never happened.

Sartana’s Here… Trade Your Pistol For A Coffin - Holy moly! What a film title eh? This one makes me want to check out the rest of the series for sure, and absolute blast and one of the most fun westerns I’ve seen in a very long time. Great flick, and has me hyped for the rest of the series!

Satan’s Cheerleaders - Look, I know the word “Cheerleaders” is right there in the title but truthfully I was expecting more “possessed cheerleaders/horror related cinema in some form or another” and less cheesy beach volleyball bingo blanket party shtick. Although I like Greydon Clark, this is definitely a stinker.

OLD REVIEWS:

Dolemite - Ahh, looking back on this review, this was a whole lot of fun. Not just the film but writing about it as well. Although it’s an older review, it might be one of my best.

Don’t Go In The House - Ahh, a classic bit of horror and exploitation sleaze. Dude kidnaps girls, locks them in a metal room then BBQ’s them - you know what that spell my friends? A CLASSIC, that’s what it spells! Definitely check this one out!

Don’t Answer the Phone (Reviewed by Prof. Aglaophotis) - Aggy hooked us up with this one a while back, an intense and detailed review for what looks like a pretty horrid little horror flick.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoy all the fun new words on pages! AND SIGN UP ON THOSE FORUMS EVERYBODY!

Hey everybody, still going at it! Been a little busy here lately trying to come up with two things: a way to import IMDB information with all of my reviews easily without having to go back and manually code all of the iformation like I used to (which was a pain). So far no real luck with that since all of the projects based around that for wordpress are all dead and IMDB changes dramatically all the time. The other thing I’ve been working on is databasing all of the reviews, splitting them up by genre, rating and contributer/owner reviews. This one SHOULD be pretty easy, but I have to go back and edit every single review posted which is just going to take some time unfortunately. Regardless, still found some time to throw together a few reviews and Jon was cool enough to slip you all one too!

Goodbye Uncle Tom - The mother and father of all racesploitation films, if you can determine it as that. A disturbing but utterly fascinating film about the absolute worst and depraved of humanity getting the better of itself. This is the longest review I’ve written in a while, and Goodbye Uncle Tom just kind of drags it out of you to where you HAVE to talk about it.

Oily Maniac (Review by Jon Jung) - Jon reviews one of the strangest looking films we’ve had here on VC in a while, not to mention obscure as all get out. It’s a Shaw Bros. production, but Kung Fu this is not. A giant slimey monster and tons of breasts bouncing around all over the place - you have to admit, it does sound like a winner! Thanks Jon!

Slime City - From that time and era where New York was so busy turning out these fresh, new and completely low budget horrors. Slime City seems to be one of the last of these low budget classics of a small group of filmmakers who went all out and delivered their humorous and disgusting view of urban living. Slime City isn’t quite on the level of Basket Case, but I certainly did enjoy it and hope others will too!

OLD REVIEWS

Django Kill… If You Live, Shoot! - A very, very strange film that even though I didn’t rate it high nor do I consider it a really great film but it has influenced me over the past couple of years. A strange little piece of the Spaghetti Western genre that really has to be seen to be believed. Expect nothing to do with Django the burly European who carried around a coffin however, there’s no one fitting that description here.

Dead or Alive I: Hanzaisha - The Dead or Alive series still remains a favorite of mine after all of these years, and with Miike making so many classic flicks that have taken up the limelight throughout the years - they are easy to bypass in order to list a few more modern films. The first two in the series however make up for some of Takashi Miike’s greatest work and are absolutely “must see” for any person claiming to be a fan.

Dead or Alive II: Tobosha - Certainly one of Miike’s most underrated, DOA2 often seems to walk that line between pretension and an amazing piece of art - and unlike the later work of Izo; I don’t see any pretension in what Miike does here. Simply a touching and emotionally draining gangster flick that defies the genre so much that it can hardly be considered your average Yakuza movie.

Dead or Alive III: Final - It’s true, for the conclusion to such a fine series of films it was a little disappointing; but it’s still as great as much of Miike’s average film rate (which makes it fantastic by comparison). Definitely a lot different than the previous, and you may say “they’re all different from one another, judging the films next to each other by what the previous did is pointless” - true, but the move away from the quiet contemplation of character and life from both films definitely does do harm to the movie overall - but otherwise its still a great little weird scifi flick.

Anyway, hope everybody is doing well and enjoying these Olympics like I am! A lot of fun to be had! Also hope everyone is checking those forums! C’mon, don’t make me beg! Okay, I’ve already begged a thousand times over, but still… we’ve gotta get some life in there everybody!

What up everybody! Got some new stuff, including a new user submitted review from Jon Jung - a guy who really knows his stuff when it comes to genre related cinema. His review for Lifeforce is also a great read so I highly recommend it to everybody. Hopefully you all have a good time and enjoy the latest!

NEW REVIEWS

Beast With A Gun - A classic bit of Italian Crime, as we take on an epic character study of two men who are aiming to destroy one another. One must go down, if they both don’t. That sort of thing. Fun, inventive and pushing the action from the very first scene until the end. Definitely check this one out!

Heat After Dark - Ryuhei Kitamura’s, director of Versus and Azumi, first feature film - and it’s pretty good! Kitamura is a director you’ll either really like or you won’t though, so if you didn’t like the style of Versus then this might not appeal to you. Features that same low budget “cool” that Versus did, only without the zombies or gore. However, if you’re a fan of his for his cinematic work and not just the wicked cool gore - you should dig on this.

Lifeforce (Reviewed by Jon Jung) - My good friend Jon provides his thoughts on this Tobe Hooper scifi classic. People are naked, there’s some crazy 80’s special FX work - why wouldn’t you want to check it out?

Mean Johnny Barrows - I am of the opinion that Fred “The Hammer” Williamson is one of the most underrated action stars of all time - right up there with Patrick Swayze (no, I’m not kidding on that) and I can’t help it but I really enjoyed this mafia yarnd - directed by the man himself.

OLD REVIEWS

Django - The Spaghetti Western classic is back on Varied Celluloid! I’m always happy to get my reviews back up for classic flicks such as this one. It has been a while since I read my review for it, so I may have slaughtered my chance at displaying how great of a film that it really is - but hopefully I did well enough in the eyes of the fans!

Demon, The (Reviewed By Prof. Aglaophotis) - I hope Aggy is doing well these days, haven’t heard from him in a while, sometimes its fun just to go back and read through some of his awesome reviews. The Demon is a flick that even Aglaophotis felt little sympathy for, and he’s a very fair guy so you know you screwed up when making it if Aggy says you did!

Detroit 9000 (Reviewed By Sebastian Haselbeck) - Sebastian from The Tarantino Archives submitted this review back in the day for this exploitation classic. Sebastian now helps out with both the Spaghetti Western Database as well as the Grindhouse Movie Database, so you can trust him!

Devonsville Terror, The (Reviewed by Prof. Aglaophotis) - With a name like The Devonsville Terror, do you even need a catchline or anything like that? It markets itself! Prof. Aglaophotis seems to enjoy it as well, so I’d definitely say it’s worth checking out some time!

So that looks like it will do it for another update. I’m trying out new features with wordpress right now, really looking for something to import IMDB information into the reviews so I can get a cast/writer/director feature going without having to manually put it all in for every review. It’st stuff like that on the old site that burned me out so bad. Anyway, hope all is cool and don’t forget to check out the forums!

— Josh Samford