Varied Celluloid

Weird Cinema Episode 2

Posted by Josh Samford On January - 27 - 2017ADD COMMENTS
This sudden update to the website must come as a shock to those of you who have kept up with Varied Celluloid over the years. Indeed, it has been two years since the website has been updated. Quite the period of inactivity. For those who know me personally, you know that during that time I finished with my first degree, began a new career, got engaged, and have had life change drastically. However, I’ve continued to pay the bill for Varied Celluloid, and never once thought about deactivating it despite not knowing when I would be free to write for it again. Varied Celluloid is a project that I began in my teenage years. The habit of writing, due to this website, has helped me so much in my personal life. However, it seems that film blogs and writing… well, it’s becoming more and more a lost art. While I do not intend to ever give it up, I would like to discuss film in as many different avenues as I can. Weird Cinema is something I dream about doing more and more often. However, the amount of time that I commit to each project is insane.

When it comes to writing, I like to get out a quick and easy opinion on a single film. While I do try and include a bit of investigative journalism when writing about films, for instance many of my last old-school kung fu film reviews have seen me discussing the actual history surrounding the onscreen situations, when it comes to releasing a video via YouTube – I feel there’s much more that needs to go into such projects. I like to include a bit of humor when possible, but I realize that my voice is a bit monotone, so what can be done to spruce things up? The content. For these videos, I like to ensure that the content is concise, clear, and features information that has to be gathered via hours of dedicated reading and research. I would also like for each project to have some “pizazz” to it. I want the project to look as close to a moderately funded documentary as I can possibly make it, without, of course, any kind of funding and without any sort of crew or help. Everything you see in these videos has been done by me, and I’m sure that is obvious due to its quality. In this particular episode, unfortunately I did not have a windscreen over my new microphone and I had no idea how much that would factor into the sound quality. I intend to rectify this with the next episode, whatever that may be.

For what purpose is all of this? Is it in the hopes to make money? No. It is in the hopes of becoming internet famous? No. I simply want to share these movies with other people. I would love it if these videos were shared with others and managed to reach new audiences with film fans around the world. However, if that is not in the cards, then at least my passion and creativity can be seen by the very few who stumble upon these.

So, with all of that out of the way, I hope some manage to enjoy this second episode. It covers Frederic Hobbs, director of Godmonster of Indian Flats, a movie that in the past I have referred to as “one of the worst movies of all time.” A title that, these days, I do not feel it deserves, but a title that I can’t blame people for bestowing upon it. It is a very strange piece of film from a very strange filmmaker, and hopefully this video can help answer some questions about it. If you’d like, you can also check out my review for it that I wrote nearly ten years ago, but I must say, it’s not nearly as informative as the video!

Seven Warriors

Posted by Josh Samford On January - 27 - 2017ADD COMMENTS

Seven Warriors (1989)
Director: Sammo Hung and Terry Tong
Writers: Tsang Kan-Cheung
Starring: Adam Cheng, Tony Leung, Max Mok, Jackie Cheung, Shing Fui-On, Wu Ma, and Phillip Kwok.



The Plot: Our story takes place during the Warlord period in China where bandits are numerous and safety is far from guaranteed. Guanxi is a small village that is being pressured by one particular group of bandits who continually rob them and know that they are too weak to defend themselves. These farmers of Guanxi, with no ability to defend themselves, come to the realization that they must hire an army to protect them. This leads them to hiring seven warriors, skilled in martial arts, who will protect them and help scare away this group of bandits in the hopes that their village can once again flourish. The warriors are: Adam Cheng, Max Mok, Jacky Cheung, Lam Kwok-Bun, Wu Ma, Shing Fui-On, and Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, and Lo Lieh is the leader of the bandits… who was once a brother to this group of seven.


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Weird Cinema Episode 1

Posted by Josh Samford On August - 17 - 2014ADD COMMENTS
For those who frequent the site regularly, you may have noticed the slowdown in posts during the Summer. While the initial goal was to take the Summer to write many more reviews, due to my being out from school and having a bit of free time, but instead I ended up working on a different side project. That side project is Weird Cinema. This is a new webshow based around niche films and film markets. The idea is to take a lot of time for each episode in order to make it as thorough an well-crafted as is possible for a one-man team. That doesn’t mean Varied Celluloid is completely on the side, it just means that thins are progressing and things are expanding. There are more reviews written right now and are sure to be posted soon. However, for the time being, take a quick look at this first project in order to get a feel for what Weird Cinema is going to bring to the table.

This episode covers IFD Films and Arts along with Godfrey Ho and all of the “big” cast members who helped bring to life many of the crazy ninja movies that have been reviewed here on the site within recent months. Hope you enjoy it and I hope many can learn something about these crazy movies.



Female Teacher: Dirty Afternoon

Posted by Josh Samford On June - 28 - 2014ADD COMMENTS

Female Teacher: Dirty Afternoon (1981)
Director: Kichitaro Negishi
Writers: Yuki Kazamatsuri, Ayako Ohta, and Hiroko Fuji.
Starring: Yuki Kazamatsuri, Ayako Ohta, Hiroko Fuji, and Tatsuya Hamaguchi.



The Plot: Yuki (Sakiko Kurata) is a young woman living in the big city and working as a school teacher. She hasn’t always been in this situation though, as she used to be a teacher in a small mining town called Akita. It was during this era of her life where she first met young Sueko. Unfortunately, it was also during this period where something awful happened to her, and since then she has tried to put it behind her. Living now in the big city of Tokyo, Yuki is surprised one day to hear from Sueko. It seems that Sueko has been busted for prostitution, among other charges. Sueko is a free-wheeling young woman who does what she wants, and as this young girl comes into her life, Yuki is reminded of the dark times she had in Akita. It was in Akita where she was attacked by a masked assailant, and the man she blamed for the crime also happened to be Sueko’s father. As it turns out, Sueko’s father may not have been the guilty party after all.


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Robo Vampire

Posted by Josh Samford On June - 11 - 2014ADD COMMENTS

Robo Vampire (198)
Director: Joe Livingstone (alias)
Writers: William Palmer (alias)
Starring: Robin Mackay, Nian Watts, Harry Myles, and Joe Browne



The Plot: Somewhere in Hong Kong (presumably), there is a gang of drug peddlers who are at war with the law. There is one man in particular that seems to constantly get in the way of their nefarious goals, and that man is Tom. The mob are soon working with a witch doctor, of sorts, who devises a plan to create the ultimate vampire in order to defeat Tom. This ultimate vampire looks a lot like an ape… so yeah, the ape man’s former girlfriend comes back from the dead as a ghost in order to marry the ape-man-vampire which is supposed to soothe his spirit. This has no bearing on the plot, but it’s fun to mention. Tom does eventually fall in combat to the ape-man-vampire, but thanks to the miracles of modern medicine he comes back as a Robo Warrior, complete with a spray-painted outfit that is supposed to look like metal. The Robo Warrior, with his arsenal of firearms, begins blasting hopping vampires and random goons for the rest of the movie. Also, there’s some subplot from another movie cut into the action that I could not figure out how it was supposed to work with all of the Robo action.


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Varied Celluloid is a film website intent on delivering views on movies from all genres. Started in 2003, the website has been steadfast in its goal and features a database of over 500 lengthy reviews. If you would like to contact us about writing for the website or sending screeners, please visit the about page located here.

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