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Hanzo the Razor: Sword of JusticeMarch 2nd 2010Back again everybody! Hanzo the Razor makes his first invasion here on Varied Celluloid, and it’s a raping good time! Make sure to check out the review, because there are few films like Sword of Justice – you can believe that!  The Plot: Hanzo the Razor: Sword of Justice is essentially a warm-up title, full of introductions and kind of a summary of the character that is Hanzo “The Razor” Itami (Shintaro Katsu). A policeman in feudal Japan, Hanzo is an officer with several distinguishing features. For one, he’s covered from neck to foot in scars that are self inflicted in attempts at practicing his torture techniques. The way Hanzo feels, if he can find the end levels of human endurance; he can push all men to their breaking point when interrogating them. Another thing to note about Hanzo is that he is earnest in his convictions, he can not be bought or bartered with when it comes to enforcing the law. A stickler for the rule book, the only thing that enrages him more than crime is the corrupt officers and officials who accept bribes in reward for allowing fugitives to run free. The other thing you might want to make a mental note on is his gigantic penis. Yes, that’s right, he sports a massive rod that he uses when interrogating women. No, I am not making this up. Hanzo, while being forced to pick up vagrants, stumbles upon a troublemaker who informs him that Kanbei the killer is no longer on the prison island that he was exiled to. In fact, he may have never even been incarcerated in the first place! With his two assistants, two former criminals (Devil-Fire and Viper) who have cleaned up their act and have committed themselves to Hanzo, the hunt is on for Kanbei the Killer and what they soon find out is that the reason this killer is now walking the street; may in fact be due to police corruption. As the heat is put on Hanzo, he is forced to solve this mystery and dispatch of Kanbei once and for all!…CONTINUE READING THE REVIEW HERE… VCinema Episode 3: Full Metal TetsuoFebruary 27th 2010It’s finally here everybody! The third episode of everyone’s favorite podcast featuring a Louisiana guy named Josh and a Californian dude named Jon! Epic and pretentious discourse is sure to follow! Download/stream it and give us your thoughts!  Two weeks in the making and now yours for the taking! In our third episode, we (Josh and Coffin Jon) ponder the technophobia of Shinya Tsukamoto’s seminal cyberpunk film Tetsuo – The Iron Man. Also included are our Netflix Instant recommendations, Twitter question about postmodern film, listener feedback, and more film talk then you might care to listen to but too bad because the show is free and really, what else are you doing on a Friday night anyway? Links: Tetsuo Kabei: Our Mother Chocolate 10k Bullets Shutting Out the Sun Show Girls, Teen Wolves, and Astro Zombies VCinema contact info and links: Contact: vcinema@variedcelluloid.net Voicemail: (206) 338-3864 Twitter: @vcinemashow (Coffin Jon) @variedcelluloid.net (Josh) Directly download episode 3 here 
A Snake of June ReviewFebruary 23rd 2010Back again with a review for one of the best films to be covered on this site in a while! Easily jumping into my top fifteen (which is pretty high up there!), A Snake of June is a pretty mind blowing experience. It’s also now one of my favorites from director Shinya Tsukamoto! I hope you guys dig the review, as I went pretty in depth with this one! Check it out!  The Plot: Rinko Tatsumi (Asuka Kurosawa) is a phone operator at a mental health center, where she talks to those on the brink of suicide and persuades them to do the right thing. Her home life is extremely plain, her husband continually cleans around the house and seems disinterested in any kind of sexual relationship. Her life, as boring as it may be, seems content. Things are turned upside down though, when she receives a package in the mail that holds photographs of her. Photographs of her pleasuring herself in her apartment. The same man continues to send her packages in the mail with other lurid pictures before revealing himself to her as one of her callers from work. The man claims she has saved his life and now he wants her to have the sexual awakening she has always dreamed of. However, his methods are less than conscious of her feelings. He buys her an earbud and a cell phone so that he can direct her without the world catching on. He then has her visit the mall, wear an extremely short skirt that she made but never had the audacity to wear and then he has her visit an adult novelty shop to buy a vibrator. Driving her insane as she humiliates herself in public, her anger builds. However, who is this man really and what secret does he hide?…CONTINUE READING THE REVIEW HERE… Get Mean ReviewFebruary 16th 2010Hey everybody, are you ready for some Spaghetti!? Tony Anthony and Ferdinando Baldi have a heap of delicious Italian awesomeness to throw your way – as the Western invades Europe in one particularly insane Spaghetti Western. Get Mean is the name and I had a pretty good time with this one. It may not be the “best” of the genre, but wow is it crazy! Check out the review!  The Plot: Tony Anthony plays The Stranger, a drifting cowboy who finds himself wandering from one adventure to the next in this classic Spaghetti Western series. After literally being dragged into a town by his own horse, he stumbles into a saloon that is being looked over by a gypsy family. They beg The Stranger to help their daughter, who is a Princess, as she makes her journey across the ocean back home to Spain in order to claim her kingdom. The Stranger, ever the opportunist, asks for a lump sum of $50k dollars and they reluctantly agree. The Stranger and the princess make it across the ocean, but once on her old stomping grounds it becomes apparent that things have changed quite a bit. Their family’s enemy The Barbarians now control a great deal of the countryside, the two of them are ambushed and the princess is taken by the Barbarians and to top things off the princess’ father is dying. The Stranger, despite losing The Princess to the hands of her mortal enemy, still simply wants his money – but for him to get that he’ll have to help the Princess find an ancient stash of gold. So now The Stranger will have to sneak into Diego’s (the Barbarian King) palace, save the Princess and then have her lead him to the treasure. However, as you may can guess, things can never be so simple!…CONTINUE READING THE REVIEW HERE… The Exterminator ReviewFebruary 10th 2010Hey everybody, back once again! I’m really thankful to everyone who read the Ringo Lam article! It took me quite a while to research and get that one out there and the site has seen a really awesome amount of visits from it, so I’m super glad and thankful for that! Believe me, more articles will come in the near future! For now, here’s a review for the Robert Ginty classic: The Exterminator! I’m a little late in discovering this one, but oh my, what a film! Check out the write-up!  The Plot: Robert Ginty plays John, an ex-Vietnam veteran who has come back to the real world with his one close friend Mike (Steve James), as very different men. In the war they saw a great deal of brutality but learned to depend on one another and that carried on once back at home. The two work alongside one another at a packing plant and look after one another whenever necessary. When Mike finds a few punks stealing cases of liquor from their storage building on the job, he and John tool the young guys quickly. They think their troubles are over, but the punks find where Mike lives and decide to teach him a lesson. They choke him with a chain and plunge a stabbing object into his back, after everything is over Mike is left paralyzed with a broken neck. John swears vengeance on the punks who did this and tracks them down, killing them one by one. His problems don’t stop there however, as now John feels it is his responsibility to earn some kind of money in order to look after Mike’s family. He finds himself now tracking down gangsters and criminals in order to take the cash necessary to keep Mike and his family afloat. However there is a detective on John’s tail, but will he put an end to this extermination of the criminal element?…CONTINUE READING THE REVIEW HERE…
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