Archives for July 2012 | Varied Celluloid

Archive for July, 2012

Just a minor update/reminder on [REC] 3 for those who are interested! The movie is going to be available on iTunes, VOD, Xbox Zune, Playstation Live and VUDU starting Thursday August 2nd. The movie will also hit theaters on September 7th. If you’re interested, check out the follow red-band trailer for a look behind this bloody new feature in the series!


Trailer Thursday: Companeros

Posted by On July - 26 - 2012

Trailer Thursday

We’re back with our second addition of Trailer Thursday. Interestingly enough, I might have stole that name from VCinema without even realizing it. Goes to show that when it comes to original ideas, your favorite webmaster Josh is incapable of finding one. With that said, on with the trailer! Today, we present a favorite of the Spaghetti Western genre. Companeros was directed by the legendary Sergio Corbucci and stars genre veterans Franco Nero (Django), Jack Palance (The Mercenary), and Tomas Milian (Almost Human). It’s a spectacular sequel to the 1968 film The Mercenary, and should be enjoyed by any fan of the Western genre.

And if you want to familiarize yourself with the movie further, check out our review from several years ago. Written back around 2002-2003, it’s an early writing of mine personally, so beware because it is awful. However, it should give readers an idea of what to expect from the movie.

Plot Outline: Yolaf “The Swede/Penguin” Peterson (Franco Nero) is a new face in Mexico and he has plans to make a quick buck. He inevitably meets up with Mongo, a guerilla general in the Mexican Revolution, and the two find a common interest. Yolaf has weapons and Mongo wants weapons, but there is a problem. The only money in town is locked away in a safe in the bank. Yolaf takes a look at the safe and quickly concludes that the only way to open it is to find out the combination. This is a big problem, because Mongo killed the only local civilian who knew the combination. The only other person who knew the combination was Professor Xantos, who happens to be held in prison by the Americans. Yolaf, being the nice fella that he is, offers his services in retrieving the professor. Mongo agrees, but sends Vasco (Tomas Milian) along with him. Vasco, who has already shown his disdain toward The Swede by trying to kill him, agrees reluctantly. Now, Peterson and Vasco set out for Texas, but they soon run into all sorts of trouble with the US army, as well as a strange man named John (Jack Palance) who lost his hand because of our Swedish friend.

Massacre Hey all, this is more of a reminder than anything, but Raro Video recently sent out a press release about their upcoming DVD release of Fernando Di Leo’s Madness on August 14th. This is an interesting piece of Di Leo’s crime-cinema library, mostly due to the star of this vehicle. Joe Dallesandro is best known as being part of Andy Warhol’s collective, and he is notable for his very strange screen presence. Seeing him in Flesh For Frankenstein is an oddity that can not be compared. For those interested, here is the rest of the press release:

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So, I heard you like giant pink octopuses…

Posted by On July - 25 - 2012
In news that will surely destroy your sanity, today I point you to a very bizarre short film that was sent my way. Detailing two young Japanese schoolgirls who are infatuated with a performance-art event in Tokyo, Paint Your Teeth: The Movie showcases their surreal trip into the underbelly of Nippon. Along the way they encounter a giant pink octopus, some other Kaiju creature, and even a couple of dominatrixes! Made in twelve hours, and featuring improvised dialogue, French-Canadian filmmaker Alex Paille has delivered something very… unique. Take a look for yourself!


MST3K: Sword and the Dragon, The

Posted by On July - 25 - 2012

MST3K: The Sword and the Dragon (1994)
Starring: Mike Nelson, Trace Beaulieu, and Kevin Murphy.

The Plot: In the not-too-distant future, Mike Nelson is a regular worker at the Gizmonic Institute until being abducted by his boss and shot into outer space. His boss, Dr. Forrester, then sends the very worst movies that he can find in order to document his reactions. Mike teams up with the two robots on board, Crow and Tom Servo, and they do their best to improve this bad situation by having a good time and riffing on the movies. In this episode, Dr. Forrester forces Mike to watch The Sword and the Dragon. A fantasy film imported from Russia, The Sword and the Dragon follows Ilya Muromets who begins our story as being crippled. Sitting in his home, his wife is kidnapped by a group of Asiatic roughians and Muromets is left with no course of vengeance. However, when a magic potion and sword is given unto him, he gains tremendous strength and is no longer crippled. Now, with all of his faculties in order, Ilya begins a quest to bring his wife back home!

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Varied Celluloid is a film website intent on delivering views on movies from all genres. Started in 2003, the website has been steadfast in its goal and features a database of over 500 lengthy reviews. If you would like to contact us about writing for the website or sending screeners, please visit the about page located here.