Godmonster of Indian Flats | Varied Celluloid

Godmonster of Indian Flats

Posted by On September - 30 - 2008


Plot Outline: Young sheep herder “Eddie” has a night out on the
town, first visiting a casino and then ending up in a bar where he has one too many drinks. After
ticking off some locals, he’s sent home packing. After being picked up and dropped off at home by the
local scientist, Professor Clemens, Eddie is in for a shock. After passing out in his barn, somehow a
gigantic sheep embryo is laid out next to him. When Prof. Clemens shows up to check on Eddie with his
assistant, Mariposa, he is amazed at what he finds. After cleaning up Eddie and slapping the embryo
in a box, both are brought to the scientist’s ranch. Meanwhile, a man named Barnstable is new in the
same city, there on behalf of a large company looking to buy up all the property so they can reap the
profit of the rich mines. The mayor, Charles Silverdale, seems to have spent his whole life building up
the town and has no intention of selling. After giving Barnstable a bad name with the general public
(someone made it look as if he shot a dog), he is unable to buy one lease in the city. Barnstable is
still persistent though, and Silverdale and his lackey’s are just as annoyed. They have plans to get
rid of Barnstable, even if he doesn’t want to leave by his own free will. Back on the other side of
town the sheep embryo is now growing, and turning into a monster… a gigantic sheep monster. A not so
predictable finale awaits them all.


The Review: What sort of film can anyone possibly stand up on a
pedestal and claim to be the worst ever? You ask any single man woman or child and you’ll always get
a different answer. I always hate reading people who claim any film to be the worst ever as if it’s a
fact and not opinion, so in this review I’ll try my best to stress the fact that this is all my opinion.
I’ve seen some claim Pearl Harbor to be the worst, and while that film was most definitely a crap fest,
it was too technically stable to be anything but ordinary garbage. Some claim Plan 9 From Outer Space
to be the worst apple on the tree, but if you ask me it’s far too entertaining to ever be considered
worst anything. It was like a comedy that no one even knew they were in on. Looking back on something
like Plan 9 all these years later, one with no knowledge of Ed Wood or the history of the film it’s
self would probably be hesitant to believe something so over the top and grandiose could be made
unintentionally. The definition is different for everyone, and the same goes for me. I do in fact think
of Godmonster of Indian Flats as the worst film I’ve ever seen. When someone asks me what the worst
film I have ever seen is, I always point them to this film without the slightest hesitation. So, what
is it that makes GOIF so bad? Making a list of the truly terrible offenses of the film would take days.
I’ll just give a run down throughout the review, but make no mistake, I don’t hate or hold any venom
towards Godmonster. Much like Ed Wood’s masterpiece, the entertainment you derive from the film will be
based on how funny you think it is to watch a really bad movie. There’s enough seriousness in the film
that it’s also totally acceptable to purely hate or love the film. Love might take it too far, but
there are some strange people out there.

I get the feeling the director was looking to make some kind of artistic or perhaps political statement
with the film, maybe it has something to do with the south I can’t really tell. If it was his intention
to make some kind of political observation, then I’m afraid he failed on so many levels. If I were a
betting man, I would put my chips on the possibility that the film was at least thirty minutes to an
hour longer than it’s presented today. It’s the only logical explanation I can come up with to explain
the disjointed and sloppy editing. After watching the film, you’re left with a million unanswered
questions. The whole centerpiece of the plot, the sheep thing, isn’t even explained. There are hints
here and there, like a conversation where Eddie the sheep herder mentions something about having a
dream where gold dust flew in his barn or something. The professor is even worse at giving an
explanation because the writing seems like it’s supposed to impress us more than explain the actual
plot. He throws out a whole lot of scientific mumbo jumbo that doesn’t even make sense, and mentions
gasses in the caverns, but this doesn’t explain how a Embrio somehow magically appeared in Ediie’s
barn! Did they just miss this part of their own script? Speaking of that professor, it may be just
me, but the guy reminded me of Dr. Quest on Johnny Quest. Just thought I would throw that out there
while on the subject. There are other equally strange and totally unexplained things going on all
throughout the film, like why is it that everyone is dressed as if it’s California circa-1876? I
think I heard Silverdale mention something about it being a restoration society or something around
those lines. I got the idea that they were committed to believing it was the 1800s or something, but
then if that were the case what were they doing with cars everywhere? Why wasn’t this explained?
It also seems to be hinted at in the film that Silverdale is a racist and this is why he hates
Barstable so much, but after watching the film three times now, there’s no mentioning of race at all.
Maybe I just didn’t pay close enough attention, but I don’t think I’m wrong because I’ve seen people
call Silverdale a racist in plot summaries.

There are also just those moments where you grab the sides of your head and just shake it furiously,
trying to block out the stupidity that has invaded it. Like, during the center of the film Silverdale
concocts a plan to smear Barstables image by faking the accidental death of a dog (Yes, I know).
Anyway, they throw a funeral for the dog the next day (Yes, I know) where Silverdale and his goons
start lathering on the hatred for Barnstable, but right after the funeral is over and Barnstable is
nowhere in sight, it is revealed (although we seen it for ourselves a scene earlier) that it was all
a hoax. The owner of the dog reveals that he shipped it to his son out of state, now this is where
things get a little strange folks, the owner of the dog steps up to the casket and lifts it to reveal
no dog inside, but on the soundtrack a dog starts barking for no absolute reason! I don’t understand
for a second why this was placed here. I could understand it if the guy was in grief over his dog, but
just throwing in the sound effect for no reason produces one of the strangest moments in the film
for me. Then again, when you’re talking about Godmonster of Indian Flats ‘strangest moments in the
film’ come about every ten minutes. One of the most infamous weirdo moments comes after the godmonster
sheep thing is released out on to the public. Mariposa runs out after the beast, for no apparent
reason, skipping until she finds him. Once she does, she begins to dance with the giant sheep. That’s
right, they dance. It’s one of those moments in film history you’ll never forget, it really is. The
king of all weirdness in the film is without a doubt the ending, I’ve watched it three times now, and
I still can’t make sense of it. This is truly what sets the film apart from other crappy films
out there, this one just doesn’t make any sense. It implodes upon it’s self rather than self
destructing. Like a black hole sucking up all it’s surroundings, Godmonster of Indian Flats will take
away many braincells.

The acting doesn’t deserve too much comment. Christopher Brooks (who went on to have a successful
career in Hollywood as a composer) isn’t a bad actor and has a charm about him, but look at the film
man. The rest of the cast don’t deserve much mention. Well, except the Dr. Quest look-alike professor.
He was hilarious. His whole attitude seemed based around the fact that he thought he was a genius, like
talking and pronouncing every word with far too much concentration. There’s really nothing else to say
about Godmonster, it doesn’t make sense, it’s completely inept and there are more plot holes in it to
either thoroughly confuse you or make you laugh until you’re red in the face. I’m giving it a
three, because anything higher would be too gracious just for making me laugh, and anything lower
would be too offensive for this cheesy and bizarre classic. One of my favorite bad films, and if you
ask me, it should at least be considered one of the worst.




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