The Plot: In the post apocalyptic land that once was America, a man is being put to death. That man is Sam Hell (Roddy Piper), one of the last potent men on earth with the ability to procreate. When the government finds this out, they send in special agent Spangle to ensure he is released into their custody. Seems they have a mission for Sam. Times are tough, and fertile women are just as hard to find as potent men. However, in Frogtown several such women have been abducted and sold off as slaves to the froggie kings there. Sam’s mission is now to travel to Frogtown, rescue the fertile women and then impregnate them. He’ll have to travel with Spangle who gives him a hard time at every instance and he’ll be forced to wear a clad iron “cup” over his equipment that is rigged with an explosive if he tries to run away. So ol’ Sam’s going to have to stick around for the ride, but this mission may not go as smoothly as planned.
The Review: Hell Comes to Frog Town, pretty catchy title eh? Sounds like a dark and adult animated film, possibly about a town full of frogs being harassed by the spawn of satan – or something like that at least. The real Hell Comes to Frog Town is something completely different from that however, and is more like Mad Max meets a cinemax friday night softcore romp. My friend who had loaned me this film is a bit of a diehard scifi fan, and I suppose that is how he found it. Me, I’ve KNOWN about Hell Comes to Frogtown for years mostly from Andrew over at badmovies.org, but had not got around to seeing it until just now. Going back to my scifi friend, he’s not too big on horror or b-movies so his take on the film was a lot different than mine. He had warned me before that the film covered a lot of sex, and was an overall cheesefest. My response? Yum, yum, gimme sum! Turns out, there’s actually surprisingly little sex in the film – maybe I misinterpreted what my buddy told me, I’m not sure; but there’s no getting past the fact that this is a Grade-A cheesefest unlike any other. Is that bad? Heck no! Not in my book! If you’re a b-movie film fan or just like strange and goofy cinematic endeavors; you’re going to love Hell Comes to Frogtown. If you like giant frogs with chainsaws, you’re going to love Hell Comes to Frogtown. If you love sex with frogs, then you’re just a weirdo. I mean really dude, they’re reptiles, what’s wrong with you? I kid, I kid – but after seeing this film you too may be doing the dance of the Three Snakes, or at least trying to talk your girlfriend into it… or boyfriend, for you freaky girls out there. For those out there who are assuming that I have lost my mind, just check out the film and you’ll understand what I’m getting at.
What ever happened to Roddy Piper’s acting career? I realize that he was tagged as a simplistic action star, but so what? If Steven Seagal can still find work, why is it that Roddy Piper isn’t releasing a string of indie action flicks every month? I would jump aboard the Roddy Piper action train far ahead of Seagal or Van Damme. Piper has a natural charisma that many wrestlers turned actors simply seem to lack. It’s as if once they’re in front of a film camera, all that presence they have in the ring can no longer translate with a rigid script of dialogue. However, Piper seems born to play the role of the sarcastic and reluctant hero who has to save the day, despite knowing he probably shouldn’t be involved. If you’re a big fan of They Live, like myself, then you’ll enjoy Piper’s performance here because just like in that film – he’s as bad a dude as ever. Although ti seems like he wouldn’t really be given the time to shine in a film with as silly a premise as this one; Piper’s character brightens the screen at all times – no matter how downright goofy the plot tends to be. Truly, this is a film that could have only been made in that time between the late eighties and early nineties. How films such as this or Buckaroo Banzai were able to get the funding behind them is beyond me. Filmmaking is a business as well as an art, and I can only imagine how great a salesman the producer had to be to get people excited about a action film set after the apocalypse, featuring a pro-wrestler in the lead as one of the only men on earth with active sperm – having to fight a horde of toads in order to impregnate women. Can you imagine the meetings that took place around a film like this one? Script notes? It truly does boggle the mind, but I am forever thankful for the people who went out of their way to get this film made. Without it, we would have missed out on such classic lines of dialogue like: “Let’s boogy!”, “Eat lead froggies!”, “you boys can either eat dirt… or lead” or “Someone’s been dealing lead to the froggies!” – all of which make me as giddy as a schoolgirl!
It certainly is a strange little flick, but if the idea of a giant frog with a chainsaw entices you, or an apocalyptic wasteland inhabited by essentially nothing but hot women gets your goat – why not give it a spin? I was pleasantly surprised, and was taken back to another great film I’m reminded of in Six-String Samurai. Although not as “cool” as that film, the same level of fun can be found in here as well as the attitude of “well, we’ve gone stranger and stranger – anything can happen at this point” that seems to permeate both films. You’ll either think it’s so crazy it just might genius, or you’ll simply think it’s a waste of time and effort – either way I predict strong reactions for the film. In this day and age of PC regulated fun with no excitement, and cinema defined by genre – this sort of jolt is just what I needed. Hopefully others out there can agree, I give the movie a four out of five. I personally thought it was a whole lot of fun and don’t want anyone to miss out. Enjoy this strange and unique show as soon as possible!
