|The Plot: Lady Terminator is a little tricky to synopsize, since it’s almost a tale of three different stories. First we start off one hundred years ago as the South Sea Queen beds her 100th husband who then forbids her from continually killing off the male population with her magic. She vows vengeance in one hundred years against her husband’s great granddaughter. Skip forward to present day (well, 1983) and we run into a young archeologist, Tania Wilson (Barbara Anne Constable ), who is interested in the story about the South Sea Queen. When asking around she’s told there have been many divers who have looked in the south sea but they all came up missing. So she of course charters a boat for herself. When she dives in she is captured by the South Sea Queen and thus allows the South Sea Queen to come back to life using her body. Her first order of business is to track down her husband’s great granddaughter, named Erica (Claudia Angelique Rademaker ), who is now a burgeoning music starlet. However, along to protect her is Max McNeil (Christopher J. Hart), a police officer still coping with the death of his wife. Will they be able to stop this ruthless witch, or will the South Sea Queen take over the world!?|
We’re talking vaginas biting penises. We’re talking mullets and machine guns. We’re talking about bad eighties fashion and panzer tanks. God bless Indonesia, because when this country was sitting back and watching all of the over-the-top action flicks that were pumped out by Hollywood during the eighties, they only saw the most outrageous moments. It’s like they were blind to anything but the most insane and unbelievable things that were crammed into flicks like Commando, because their take on the action genre is like this insane mix-mash or greatest hits of everything that simply couldn’t be taken serious about the Hollywood action feature. It is for this reason that so many of these films are really developing in their cult audience here in the states, because for those of us who grew up on Hollywood action – these films almost work like spoofs of the entire genre but for some reason they actually take themselves serious.
Lady Terminator has been the real leader of the pack as far as recent resurgences of popularity. “Why is this?” You may find yourself asking. Well, I’ll put it this way. When making my notes, I went back and found that nine out of ten were simply insane moments (I hear the kids refer to them as ‘WTF moments’) throughout the movie. Stuff like Vaginas somehow eating the manhood off some four or five gentlemen (I know I’ve mentioned it a lot at this point, but c’mon!) or a biker actually urinating in his own mouth like that old viral video of that chimp who did much the same thing. Beating that monkey to the punch by DECADES! Groundbreaking? I’ll let you make the call on that one. We’ve got lasers from breasts, lasers out the eyes and enough really awful dialogue to keep you entertained for hours. It’s the perfect party movie because not only is it pretty darn bad, but it’s still somewhat entertaining for the right reasons. Namely, the action. Whether it be Lady Terminator’s hostile take-over of a military base or the highway chase scene with Max McNeil hanging outside his window firing an M:16, this flick actually gets the job done!
Not to play down just how bad Lady Terminator really is because let me tell you right here and now, this most certainly defines the term. Normally when watching a dubbed flick, like this one was, there’s a certain amount of flack that you can spare the actors due to the language barrier and such… not the case with Lady Terminator. Normally when dealing with low budget cinema you become accustomed to a fair amount of over-acting but unfortunately with Lady Terminator you’re served up a smorgasbord of performances with almost no Emote-ing whatsoever. I think some over the top scene chewing would have been just what a flick like this could have really used, but I suppose it just wasn’t in the cards. Oh well, at least we still have the depraved violence to hang onto! Certainly not what I would call ‘gory’, but the gunshots and bloody violence of Lady Terminator isn’t something to scoff at. There’s a really brutal head shot via Uzi, at least two or three scenes of random guy’s being shot in the testicles (with exploding squib!) and a Robocop ED-209 style bit of overkill with someone being blasted until the Lady Terminator’s clip simply runs out. Bloody violence is certainly the special of the day and it doesn’t disappoint.
If there’s ever a glass ceiling of how far a movie should go, in terms of camp or absurdity, then Lady Terminator shatters through it at rocket speed before leaving the earth’s atmosphere. Then as it is propelling towards the moon or some other foreign planet unknown to the general populace, it takes a big fat dump on everyone watching. Yes, it is a glorious spectacle. You’re left almost in tears after the initial viewing. So many questions will be pumping through your mind. Why do mall security guards carry UZI’s in Indonesia? Is mall violence really that rampant? Did no one think continuity was an issue when Lady Terminator was taking four and five shotgun blasts to her abdomen, yet showed no signs of ill effect? Then twenty minutes later into the movie she’s shown with dozens of bullet wounds all over her body? Was it simply a joke that during the boating sequence that one of the sailors was named Popeye? Why wasn’t Max’s good friend Snake the star of this movie? With his EXTREME mullet and awesome catchphrases such as “F**KIN EH!!! ARRIGHTT!!”. Then there’s the musical interlude. Whew, prepare to be taken back to the very worst of the eighties in one very quick segment as the lead actress takes to the stage. Thankfully the Lady Terminator brings us back to reality with her newly found Uzi. This movie does not play games!
The mix of legends with “contemporary” ideas is an interesting mix for the film. Apparently a lot of this Indonesian craziness is actually rooted in the religious beliefs and older tales from the nation. So there are at least some interesting ideas behind the film, aside from all of the blatant stealing from the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic. You’ve got the old meets new motif, but it’s all overshadowed by the insanity crafted from the exploitation. Lady Terminator is a cinematic oddity that certainly appeals to a minor audience, but for those of us who really dig weird but fun stuff – it’s a treasure trove of great things. So many quotable lines here. Within the first few minutes we’re greeted to this universe as the South Sea Queen uses her vaginal powers to destroy some man’s genitals, then when she meets the next man who she humps but can’t kill he jumps up and shouts “You’re my wife now, I want you to stop the killing!”. The logical response to that? “In 100 years I’ll have my revenge on your great grand daughter!” Wait, WHAT!? It blows the mind, but watching with a friend there’s no way you won’t have fun.