Varied Celluloid

The Plot: Ethel is back and ready to attack! This time, several years after her killing spree in the original Criminally Insane, the hospital she is staying at has had to severely limit itself due to budgetary concerns and has sent along many of their patients to live in a halfway house. Things seem to be going swimmingly when Ethel arrives, no killing at the start and the promise of three square meals a day for Ethel sounds like a decent start. However, once the first soup is served – Ethel has had enough. The straw that breaks the camel’s back however is the attendant in charge to look over the house when the owner (Mrs. Batholomew) is away starts teasing Ethel and eating candy bars in front of her. Ethel just isn’t the person to be teasing with candy, let me tell you. Now, will this situation break down into another case of wholesale slaughter or will Ethel somehow come out of her killer rage? Meh, don’t count on it.

The Review: The whole reason I ever even started up Varied Celluloid was essentially to bring the world reviews for films like the one I’m discussing today. I originally reviewed Criminally Insane back when the site first started up (2003) and I was always kind of proud to be one of the few people out there having any kind of comment or analysis for such an obscure title. Little did I know back then that there was also the Death Nurse series which was basically spawned from Criminally Insane AKA: Crazy Fat Ethel. I knew that the original Criminally Insane spawned SOME sort of cult audience, but enough for four films? It’s amazing, but I suppose the interest was there. Afterall, I’ve seen Priscilla Alden referred to on more than one occasion as a “cult horror icon”. I don’t know if I’d stretch it and say Icon, but these b-level horrors certainly deserve some sort of notoriety. Not for any reasons that one would call “good”, but how many “heavyset woman kills so she can eat food” flicks have you seen recently that aren’t titled Criminally Insane? I thought so. This sequel picks up several years down the line from the first, with Priscilla looking a little older but still having that cold demeanor that actually kind of worked in the original flick. The jump from film to video however isn’t a gracious one, and is ultimately very unforgiving due to its muckier visuals.

In a sixty minute feature, you know you’ve got problems when the first fifteen minutes are mostly flashbacks to the original. It didn’t work in The Hills Have Eyes 2 (not the sequel to the remake, the original sequel) and it doesn’t work here. This is sort of the first hint out of the gate that Criminally Insane 2 isn’t going to be as memorable as the original. Which really doesn’t bode well since the original was only memorable because it was one of those cinematic oddities that you just can’t believe was actually made. Now you’re left scratching your head throughout the duration of this film because who can believe they actually made a sequel to Criminally Insane! On a serious note however, if you haven’t seen the original film one of the few interesting things it had going for it was the arthouse style approach it took instead of just being a straight ahead exploitation shocker. With a soundtrack (that transports itself back in this sequel) of jangly piano notes being played, with plenty of lingering shots that drone on forever. The same format is brought back for the sequel, for better or for worse. Well, let me just save you the drama, it’s definitely for the worse.

I’ll try not to be too negative on Criminally Insane 2. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, picking on a flick like this. Although a fairly boring affair, it does seek to spice things up by putting Ethel in the house with someone that could very well be her match, another cold blooded killer who could maybe avoid her traps – but this lasts all of about ten minutes before the film falls back into the patently repetitive “Ethel kills anyone who stops her from eating” routine. Then there’s the whole arthouse style that at least separates the series from the rest of the slasher genre. Let’s not kid ourselves though, Criminal Insane 2 AKA: Crazy Fat Ethel is just about everything you could expect it to be. It’s a slow paced sequel made up with about a quarter of it’s running time with clips from the first film, shot on video with non-actors (aside from Priscilla, who is certainly amusing in her role but not because of any expressions of acting talent) and very little violence. Hey, it is what it is. B-movie fans should definitely flock to this one, simply for the sake of having it in their collection. However, aside from a few unintentionally funny bits (“Granny, give me those pretzels back!!!”) it really doesn’t have much going for it at all. It’s a 1 out of five, because it’s not so dreadful that it causes physical pain to sit through and it’s not entertaining enough to warrant anything higher.

The Plot: Heather Fasulo (Agnes Bruckner) is a troubled young lady. She simply can not stand authority figures and does everything in her power to take them down a notch. However, this attitude has got her into a fair amount of trouble and that’s why she’s headed to Falburn Academy, a boarding school for young women. Once there though, she begins to wish she never started any of the trouble that upset her mother the way it did. She’s an immediate outcast to most everyone, and the teaching staff treat her like some kind of vile creature unworthy of their attention. The only thing that keeps poor Heather sane is the meeting of her new friend Marcy, the one girl at school that actually seems to have any sense in her head. The rest all just bully the two of them. Things grow more worrisome as Heather begins to have nightmares on a regular basis, with the woods whispering to her and visions of a young girl. With this and several students coming up missing, just what is Heather in for while staying at Falburn?

The Review: I tell you, it doesn’t feel at all like six years since Lucky McKee burst onto the horror ‘scene’ with his dramatic and utterly intriguing debut May. Seems like just the other day we were all posting on internet message boards about Angela Bettis and this new director with such a poignant take on horror from the female perspective. Little did we know that the man would sort of define this part of his career in just that field. With May, his Masters of Horror contribution Sick Girl and this film here The Woods, McKee shows a tremendous knowledge into this new area within horror. His study on this strange feminine side of horror, with his strong female leads and bombastic or bizarre leading ladies helped solidify his voice. Although May, his breakout debut might not have twisted the entire horror genre on its ear – it took those feminine qualities and delivered a film that seemed like few that had come before it. With The Woods, McKee’s long-shelved bigger budget follow up, he wasn’t able to quite deliver as refreshing of a film – but still managed to craft something that shows off all of his unique talents while also delivering a love letter to much of his horror influences. Something you know us horror fans can’t resist.

The Woods isn’t what I would call groundbreaking, unlike May which caught many of us offguard when first released, The Woods is generally just Lucky playing the genre straight up and doing a very good job of it. The influence that Dario Argento’s Suspiria had on the film had to be massive, from the general plot synopsis you can probably already tell that. Although Lucky doesn’t try and take a bite out of Argento’s style, the Argento influences emanate throughout every grame. Truly, any supernatural horror film taking place at a girl’s school owes at least some kind of debt to Argento’s horror classic. McKee manages to keep his film feeling fresh however, by not tackling anything directly similar to Suspiria and instead focusing on the relationships bound between parents and child. This is where I think The Woods found it’s strongest footing, as the sequences between Bruce Campbell and Agnes Bruckner towards the end of the film were really heartwarming and helped solidify the entire film through these tense but complex relationships. I have to say, we’re of course talking about a horror picture here so it isn’t an overly complex piece of material but without a doubt I would say these two characters and their relationship were favorite aspects of the film for me.

Did I mention that Bruce Campbell was utterly great in this? Well, it’s a small role, but for the fanboys out there you’ll be proud to see Bruce playing a character who isn’t arrogant, stupid or silly – but a caring father put into extreme circumstances. For a character who doesn’t speak at all in his first few minutes of airtime it’s great to see him come back later in the film and utterly steal the show. The entire cast are all excellent in their roles however and Lucky’s script is tight and filled with great back and forth dialogue. The bits between Agnes Bruckner and her bullies are usually quite humorous in particular, as the juvenile insults tend to fly. Still, the real question at this point isn’t whether this is a well made film – but is it a good HORROR film? In my opinion, yes, it is. Although some of the spookier moments seem to be a little drawn out, I think there’s a lot of spooky things happening for The Woods. McKee handles the atmosphere with ease and delivers a very tense and suspenseful ride. However, the only problem I had with the film was by just how much it followed along genre staples. Although it was a surprise to see Lucky break out the gore that is unleashed in the latter portion of the film, the film plays out about how you would expect it would just from watching the trailer. Don’t let that detract you from seeing it however, it is a very solid three out of five which is above average (remember, I count zero as a rating too) and McKee is a filmmaker to keep an eye on. You won’t want to miss his career as it unfolds.

Review Contributed by Jon Jung

The Plot: Late Bloomer documents a severely disabled man, Sumida-san, who has made a life for himself hanging out with friends, drinking beer (a lot, at that), and checking out shows. In addition, Sumida-san is the director of a disabled home (as is the real-life actor, Masakiyo Sumida in a bit of verisimilitude) and well-cared for. Though this may seem like a rather content life, Sumida-san’s anger and frustration toward his disabilities provoke him to embark on a murderous rampage.

The Review: Japanese genre films have become all but pigeon-holed by scraggly-haired ghost children (Ringu, Ju-On, Dark Water) and cheesy Troma-like gore comedies (Meatball Machine, Tokyo Gore Police). In fact, with classic Kurosawa and Ozu films being of the few exceptions, Japanese movies as a whole can hardly get released without the “extreme”, “quirky”, and /or “kawaii” tags put on them. Thus, it’s not particularly surprising that Late Bloomer slightly mismarketed and packaged to look like the latest gorefest when it is actually a interesting, dark character study not unlike Taxi Driver or, even more closely related in theme, Tod Browning’s seminal 1932 shocker, Freaks.

Unfortunately, while Late Bloomer shares similar stark themes as those two classics of transgressive cinema but it does not share the same production values. I would not generally fault a director for having to work under a low budget. For example, the fact that the movie was shot in black and white seems like less of a budgetary constraint than an artistic decision. For the most part, the black and white photography is pulled off quite well in Late Bloomer; the film’s schizophrenic visual effects (a la Tetsuo) could probably not be as effective in color, for example. However, the impact of any scene involving blood was noticeably lessened. Blood on film should be visually alarming either in its color or viscosity. This should even be the case in black and white such as in Night of the Living Dead, a film whose shimmering dark blood was probably too much for the faint of heart in 1968. Late Bloomer’s sometimes languid pacing sometimes also affects the impact that the film could have had. The director sometimes shoots scenes for a little longer than they should be, but not long enough to feel intentional. One death scene, in particular, which occurs in a bathtub feels much too “matter of fact” than it should. The film could have done well with a little choice editing as well. For example, several scenes involving two sets of characters watching videos of each other to symbolize the social distance between them tended to drag, again taking away the punch of the central storyline

Negatives aside, Late Bloomer thematically is a breath of fresh air. Calling it the first movie to have a disabled protagonist might be a stretch; Born on the Fourth of July and My Left Foot come to mind as two others. However, it is one of possibly two (“Children of a Lesser God” is the other) in which the actor him or herself is disabled. With that said, the director Go Shibata does well for his subject matter by weaving the narrative around Sumida-san, never forcing us to feel one way or another about him. It would have been easy to have taken one of two overt routes and made a mean-spirited exploitation or sappy “deep down we’re all the same” message film. Overall, in fact, the film does a great job at presenting us with a character who, all said and done, is not necessarily a villain, hero, or anti-hero. Rather, the protagonist is just a guy who, through life’s misfortunes, has just taken the figurative straw that broke the camel’s back. It’s just too bad that Shibata didn’t have a better budget and slightly more experience with which to improve all the positives this film has. This is definitely a film worth watching but, as previously mentioned, this may not be for the gorehounds. But, if you have the patience and will to sit and watch a unique, somewhat artsy character study from a promising young Japanese director, then you could do worse by picking Late Bloomer up.

The Plot: Carlo Antonelli (Franco Nero) is a successful engineer who has it all. While stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time one day however, his life is turned upside down. Whilst depositing a major amount of money, a group of thugs hold up the bank and take Carlo hostage. They beat and humiliate him before dropping him off in a boatyard where the cops find him. Finding no help from the police, only interrogation and insinuations that perhaps he was in on the heist, Carlo decides the only justice available to him is to take matters into his own hands. However, just walking around in the seedier sides of town only gets him awkward glances and threats against his life, so he must find another way into this criminal side of humanity. He ultimately finds Tommy – a young thief who Carlo is able to photograph in the act, and uses these photos for blackmail. Now Carlo has Tommy as his run-between, but will he be able to go through with it and bring these villains down once and for all?

The Review: Franco Nero is a MAN. Even when he’s portraying a character who isn’t the “go out and bust some heads” action hero that he very well could play in all of his roles, he’s still this broad and masculine character who imposes his charisma on the screen. Although I know it isn’t usually my style to begin a review by complimenting the actors, I usually save that for the second or third paragraph (how predictable I am, eh?). I just can’t help myself this time. After watching Street Law you really begin to understand what makes Nero such a wonderful performer and why he’s so beloved by his fans. His contributions to Street Law are immense, but in almost all regards Street Law is a total success. It’s a heady mix of vigilantism, and the questions behind it, as well as pure adrenaline charged action. The movie jumps up from the start and takes off running at a breakneck pace. Although a lot of Poliziotteschi flicks are decently paced, the speed and rhythm of Street Law is definitely unlike anything else I’ve ever seen. The brains of the film are also a part in what makes it such a compelling watch, although one might not expect it. It delivers a rather simple morality tale but does so in an overblown style that somehow doesn’t become preachy or simplistic. Don’t expect to walk away with your mind blown from a lot of subtext and allegorical content, but for this sort of action flick there are enough ideas at work to validate much of its action. Beating the much more famous Charles Bronson vehicle Death Wish to the market by a year, without that knowledge it might be viewed as another one of the clones that Death Wish inspired – but Castellari & co. were ahead of the curve and delivered an equally entertaining take on similar content.

The allure to the eurocrime genre is somewhat elusive, as there are no simple reasons to explain the love that we fans have for these films. You can’t say they’re packed with disturbing violence or daring visuals – by and large they’re really not. It is also not terrible concerned with the intense emotional or unnerving dramatic thrills that the American mobster genre so often gives its audience. However, Street Law may be the most accessible and understandable of these brilliant works of Eurocult cinema. With an engaging story, heaps of low budget action and a guerrilla filmmaking modus-operandi – Street Law delivers and delivers and then delivers some more. Although the movie does feature some very necessary breaks from the action, by and large Street Law seems to feature an endless sequence of car chases and action sequences. Watching these vehicles speed through Rome at breakneck speeds without any closed off streets lets you begin to understand the magic of cinema from this time and era, when Italy was such a massive and exciting film market. Street Law reaches down deep and provides an ample amount of entertainment, but I can’t just gloss over the ideas behind the film. Vigilantism seems like such a non-European concept in film. In fact, on the DVD Castellari says that after the release of this film he was labeled my many as an “extremist” due to his giving the concept the benefit of the doubt. However, Castellari who remains a-political in all ways never had to worry about being blacklisted however due to how popular the film became.

What would a eurocrime flick be without some violence though? This is afterall the genre that inspired Quentin Tarantino to boast of it as ‘the bloodiest genre outside of the films of John Woo’ (paraphrasing of course). Usually the gun battles and action in this particular subgenre are relatively tame though, I must say. It was a very nice surprise to find that Street Law ramps up the bloodletting a bit in at least with two excitedly bloody gunfights. Not to mention the vicious beatings that Franco Nero must endure throughout the film. Speaking of Nero and his fight scenes (admittedly, it’s more like your traditional beatings on several occasions), he really surprises with the stunt work the film required. The film set must have been brimming with testosterone, between buffed out Castellari and the always game Nero, as I can think of few films where the lead actor (a very popular actor at that!) actually takes a swerving car smashing into their side, causing a backflip to faceplant maneuver that just has to be seen. There’s a keen sense of bravado that the film gives off, something that Castellari specializes in. Truthfully, after Great White (which I enjoyed mind you, but for all the wrong reasons) it’s amazing to see such a stylish and visionary piece of work from the same director. His visual sense is dead on in Street Law and his framing of action is top of the food chain. You really can’t find much wrong with Street Law, but if I had to nitpick I would say that there probably could have been a lot more done with the vigilantism concept and overall Death Wish is probably the more complete film of the two. Regardless, Street Law is a very entertaining and exciting Eurocrime caper. For new fans, check this one out asap.

The Plot: We begin our tail along the side of the highway where we watch Lester and Rufe, two country bumpkins, swap out a Detour sign in the middle of the road. As they see a car that they like, they throw a detour sign in their way leading them to Pleasant Valley: population 2,000. Terry Adams is a lovely young lady who has recently picked up Tom White who had been hitchhiking along the road. White is on his way to Atlanta for a conference in a couple of days. However, once he and another car (with two couples) that was stopped by our bumpkins get to Pleasant Valley – they are treated like superstars. With everyone in town coming to meet them right at their car. Mayor Buckamn introduces the strangers to his town and offers to give them free room and board for the next couple of days while they prepare to celebrate their bicentennial. Everyone agrees after being forced into the situation, and take to liking their treatment. However, what secrets lie behind the smiling faces of this town’s inhabitants? And what exactly is being celebrated at this bicentennial? Oh, and why does everyone keep making these puns like they’re talking about killing the young strangers in town? … oh…

The Review: Herschell Gordon Lewis was certainly a pioneer in terms of bringing onscreen violence out of the closet and into the foreground. However, time hasn’t been particularly kind to his version of “camp”, and a lot of younger viewers are going to be turned off to this particular approach. It is very much something along the lines of what Troma does, only without everyone being in on the joke. The performances are entirely over the top and the scripts are pure nonsense nonsense by default, but it’s these things mixed with the absurd amounts of gore that keep new audiences finding the material over and over again. Two Thousand Maniacs demonstrates clearly that weird HG Lewis mix of old-time values and extreme violence, a dichotomy that can’t be understood but mixes well into his films. In a film where we’re liable to go from a man being tied up and pulled apart by four horses, to a scene of a woman providing a tantalizing amount of skin while she pulls up her dress in a stream and lightly dabs at her legs – if you look closely, you might even see a thigh! It’s just part of the charm, as odd as it is. With Two Thousand Maniacs, Lewis offers one of his better scripts – where the gore doesn’t simply feel repetitive or as if the script was simply written around the sequences. That isn’t to say we’re dealing with David Mamet caliber writing – but there’s a beginning, middle and end – and not simply rehashing for the same scenes over and over again, so I was at least thankful for that.

As a southern man, I just HAVE to pitch in my two cents about the way the south is portrayed in the film. I’m not upset that southerners are shown to be blood thirsty monsters, that could be any culture or town! I’m not even upset that southerners are shown to still be hung up on the war between the states, the film was made in the sixties and if there are still a few people around these days with resentment towards the North I can imagine what the old timers were like back then. No, I’m offended at the use of the word “yall” in the film. Ya’ll is a shortened version of two words, You and All. It’s a term that, to the best of my knowledge, has always been used in the plural sense. You can use it when referring to a group of people who haven’t yet arrived, such as: “so what are ya’ll going to do today?” or “When they get here, where are ya’ll going?”. However, over and over throughout the film characters continually use the phrase when referring to a single person. A man might be walking away, and another might say “Where ya’ll going?”. After three or four times, the routine just gets old. Being that the film was shot in St. Cloud, Florida I picture one of two things: either the actors were from Hollywood and traveled to the location where no one payed close attention to the way the locals speak, or maybe local actors were used but didn’t want to correct any lines of dialogue. Any way it goes, it’s just a bizarre little anomaly in the film and probably doesn’t count as anything other than a pet peeve on my end but I still thought I’d dedicate a paragraph to it.

Aside from the improper dialogue, Two Thousand Maniacs remains about as harmless as HG Lewis gets. The acting is over the top, but not so terrible that it can’t be tolerated. Thomas Wood, a Lewis regular, steps into the shoes of our heroic leading man and does a good job. Connie Mason, who married Thomas Wood the same year this film was released (Go Tom!), also does well in her role. The only performances that really gnaw at the viewer are those of Lester, Mayor Buckman and Rufe – three characters who are so over the top they barely categorize themselves as being human. However, it’s an HG Lewis flick, if you’ve seen one of his films you’ll know precisely what to expect. However, character and scripting aren’t the main advertisements for a Lewis film and certainly not the first thing that pops into mind. It’s all about the gore. Well, the Godfather doesn’t disappoint. Although not quite on par with something like The Wizard of Gore, the violence here is pretty graphic. Although the bodycount is relatively small, the few who do die are maimed, ripped apart and obliterated in some pretty original ways. I’ve already said too much about one death, I’ll just keep the rest of them to myself.

I should probably also make a note of all the banjo music as well as the main theme song, written by Lewis himself. I suppose if it’s your type of music, which is kind of bluegrass, then maybe you’ll enjoy it. However, if I ever hear about Robert E. Lee breaking a musket across his knee again, I think I’ll go bonkers. The tune is repeated more times than is comfortable throughout the film and by the third time you’re just done with it. Anyway, overall, I’d say it’s one of the better and more enjoyable Lewis flicks I have seen. It’s still not a spectacular piece of art, but certainly worth checking out if you’re interested in the man and his films. It along with The Gore, Gore Girls should make for quite the evening! I’m giving it a three out of five, a little low I’m sure of being one of his best – but for me that translates to being just above average. Gorehounds will be enticed, as will genre completest’s – but I wouldn’t recommend it for one of your first gore outings.