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Satan’s Cheerleaders

Posted by On August - 22 - 2008
The Plot: Four young and sex-starved teenage girls gallivant around town in this Greydon Clark masterpiece. Bragging and flaunting their sexuality to all of the older prudes who can’t accept their sexy ways before the crazy janitor at their school, who is also a practicing satanist, puts a curse on them as they make their out of town trip to cheer at a game. The girls are: Debbie who is quite slutty, Chris who is quiet but usually speaks up with attitude, Patti who is soon to be possessed and in my opinion the hottest of the group: Sharon. That girls’ got some legs on her, rawr! So all of a sudden once this curse is revealed, their car breaks down on the side of the road just long enough for our crazy janitor to pick them up and kidnap them. He takes them to a satanic alter in the middle of the woods and straps Patti down as she is hypnotized and nude. Patti is then devil-raped by the pervert fallen angel Lucifer, who wants to make her his bride. When our janitor gets mad and wants in on the action, the devil chokes him out and when the girls come to he is dead at their feet and they don’t remember a thing. They make their way to the road and eventually find the sheriff… but the sheriff knows more than he lets on – and is all part of the satanic cult running the town.

The Review: This marks my fourth foray into the world of Greydon Clark, after sitting through Final Justice, being somewhat impressed with his first feature The Bad Bunch and simply having a ball with Black Shampoo – I knew coming into this one that Clark can either make something that blows your mind or leaves your brain as empty as the film you just watched It really doesn’t matter if the film is good or bad however, because they are always interesting. He is one of the few really low budget filmmakers from the drive-in era that although making cheap and lurid films always had a little something going for his films. Whether it’s the attempted social commentary of The Bad Bunch or the machismo in a very feminine situation throughout all of Black Shampoo (by that I mean we have the most masculine man who has ever lived in the role of a HAIRDRESSER). Satan’s cheerleaders is no different, the tremendous amount of cheese and girl unity as well as the satan worship are about as awkward a mix as it sounds. The ten minute opening sequence of beach fun are utter torment to sit through, with the high school girls being introduced as well as their rivalry with the evil kiddos from Baker. All of the girl power is too much to stand, especially when in real life it seems like every girl you ever meet hates all of their girl friends. Seriously, how many times have you ever heard “Yeah, I don’t really get along with girls so much. They’re all drama, that’s why I hang out with guys mostly.” Unfortunately that seems to be the case in every situation other than in Satan’s Cheerleaders. Not to mention their annoying rebellion from all of normalized society. Then there’s the cheerleader coach who is as big a moron as her own students and perfectly encapsulates the “wannabe cool mom” that we all know and hate.

This kind of cheesy and naive hyperbole is anguish to sit through. You remember the standards of the acting in your average H.G. Lewis picture? Well, this makes Color Me Blood Red and and Wizard of Gore look like Brando level performances. There’s so much shtick flying around that it hurts, and I find it hard to imagine the audience that could watch this sort of unbearable “comedy” in the first thirty minutes with nary a satanist in sight. Somewhere around the thirty minute mark, whenever our groundskeaper takes the cheerleaders before the devil, things pick up ever so slightly. Unfortunately we’re still tortured beyond any man’s limitations with such totally hip and not at all corny lines such as “take a picture pop, it’ll last longer!” ZING! She definitely showed that old man who was totally checking her out while she spread her legs in order to get his attention! That’ll show him for doing what she was hoping for! The nonstop one-liners are cancer inducing. The cheerleading coach who seems to get dumber as the film goes along, and lets her students run amuck simply because she can’t understand the jokes, grates my nerves to the point where I had to pause the film and go for a walk around the room several times. The latter half of the film does become slightly more tolerable, with less focus on the absolutely terrible “jokes” and more on the girls running from the evil satan cult. The whole film itself at this point finally begins to resemble The Devil’s Rain (ever so slightly), the seventies satan-based film starring the legend himself William Shatner – which is how I had imagined the film before actually seeing it. I mean really, with a flick called Satan’s Cheerleaders there are a lot of things you can imagine but I wouldn’t think of spending half the running time on a corny cheerleading movie and the other half dealing with a cult chasing them in about the same manner as Scooby Doo and Shaggy would be chased from one door to another in those cartoons. The other way to look at it is that I got my cheerleaders, I got the satan and what else can you really expect?

Normally, this is about the time I say “well I know it sounds like I didn’t enjoy myself, but…” – well, there’s not much for a “but” this time around. It’s far from being the worst film out there but the redeeming qualities of Satan’s Cheerleader’s come nowhere near outweighing the truly awful bits. I haven’t given a really bad rating in a while, and I hate to do it to a Greydon Clark production because for one thing his work makes for an easy target and another, I do respect the guy. Clark has made some bad films no doubt, but as I said earlier he always has a little something extra going on in them. Satan’s Cheerleaders unfortunately doesn’t have enough to save it from pure mediocrity at best. The one thing that really stands out for the movie is the switch at the end, but I won’t go into that and spoil it but at the end it’s the only thing that makes you think you didn’t actually waste your time. I’m giving the film a one of five, the first rating that low in a long time. That isn’t the lowest however, but it isn’t a good rating that’s for sure. Hopefully others will take my warnings in stride though and definitely form their own opinions.


Sartana’s Here… Trade Your Pistol For A Coffin

Posted by On August - 22 - 2008
The Plot: Okay, I won’t even lie, the plot is pretty convoluted and features so many twists and turns it’s a little hard to keep up with – but essentially Sartana, the famed Spaghetti Western cult figure (played here by George Hilton), after rescuing a boy and his mother from a gang of evil bandits is then embroiled in a game of tag with said gang as they are in pursuit of gold which they frequently rob off of a stagecoach that travels through their territory. Sartana gets in the middle of things, offering his service to the company owner – but in this film nothing is as it seems. Things get even more complicated when the mystery man Sabbath enters the picture, another gunslinger like Sartana with equal ability and who dresses all in white while carrying a white matching parasol. Seems a little girly, sure, but then he shoots you dead. However will Sartana make it out with these kind of odds!?

The Review: Sartana’s Here… Trade Your Pistol For A Coffin. How do you like that for a title? In the world of cinema, the Italians were brilliant with naming their product. Here in the states we use average terms, usually a two-word title meant to declare action of some sort. In Italy, during their best days, they used full declarative statements in their titles! Who says you can’t do it, right? Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key, Django Kill… If You Live, Shoot!, A Special Cop In Action, Live Like A Cop Die Like A Man, etc. You could sell me these movies based solely on those titles and a lot of the time that’s exactly why us viewers would end up checking out these movies. The Spaghetti Western genre is very notable for these sultry titles that just suck you in, even the more popular Sergio Leone films had some pretty nifty titles. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly – that’s a pretty unusual title right there, same for Once Upon A Time In The West. Long sentence based film titles meant to lure you in, and that’s exactly how I found Trade Your Pistol For A Coffin. Once I read that, I knew I had to see this film. I have unfortunately never had the pleasure of seeing any of the Sartana films previously made to this one but I’ve read up on them a little. It seems that this is the fourth (official) film bearing the name Sartana and features George Hilton stepping into the lead role as the titular character. Though I can’t speak of many of the differences between this film and previous films made with different casts and such; but I will say that Trade Your Pistol certainly stands out by its own merits and definitely doesn’t let you down if you come into it looking for all those reasons guys like myself enjoy the subgenre.

All I can speak about is this film itself, and for what it is SHTYPFAC is a fantastic western, deliberately over the top and always moving along at a swift pace. Big reveals are a constant, and absurd sequences of shooting prowess so beyond all human capability are so frequent that the mind can hardly absorb it all in one sitting. This to me was one of the more fun aspects of the film, little moments like a man with matches that are lodged between his own toes taking his pistol and shooting the ends of them all and lighting each match one by one. Then there’s all of the little gags with Sartana, shooting his enemies through a loaf of bread and then later being called out for it as his enemies catch him at lunch once again and telling him “stand up, and move away from that bread!”. Hollywood westerns often had one man taking on an army of pistoleers, but rarely did you see one go so far as to make shooting a superhuman ability. Shooting at the hip is a tough enough ability for an experienced marksman, but shooting from within the holster… shooting through bread… shooting through boots – I have to think Sartana had some kind of Spidersense going on. I’m not sure if this is simply a running gang throughout the whole series, with Sartana blasting his enemies through varying objects constantly – or if its something introduced in this film alone but I am definitely giving it my thumbs up because even though it is completely unrealistic to be as amazing with a pistol as seemingly everyone in this film is – it certainly makes for one interesting piece of work!

In many ways SHTYPFAC embodies a lot of the ideal greatness that the genre took on when Sergio Leone showed all of the world just what a western could be with his Man With No Name trilogy. Although Leone did keep his films a little more grounded in reality, Sartana takes itself above rational thought and creates something unique nd fun. The plot is almost inconsequential to the real story here, which is that with enough “cool” characters, a ton of “cool” superhuman bits of gunfighting superiority – you ccan make one COOL movie. The plot really isn’t a bad one at all, but at times things move so fast its hard to keep up with every little thing. Like I said though, what makes the film so special isn’t just that. It’s the atmosphere, the booming soundtrack and the larger than life characters who make no mistakes. Caricatures of the Spaghetti Western subgenre, but done to perfection here. I have to say I really enjoyed my first Sartana film and I hear the rest of the series is even better. Things get a bit overboard in the way that the characters are presented as being able to shoot the hair off a chiahuah at four hundred miles away – but if you take it as part of the charm (which it is) it becomes all the more enjoyable. I highly recommend it and can’t wait to see the rest of the series.


Ilsa – Tigress of Siberia

Posted by On August - 22 - 2008
The Plot: Olga (Dyanne Thorne) is the headmaster of Gulag 14, a horrid soviet workcamp where most who show up never leave. When a young man is sent there as a political prisoner in defiance of their communist regime, he refuses to break under the intense torture they put him through. This entices Olga as she is intent on having him break and declare the greatness of Joseph Stalin. As she tortures and kills the prisoners one by one, this one man still refuses to break no matter what. When the time comes though, she wants him fed to the tiger in the middle of camp. Lucky for him he is able to dodge the tiger’s attempts long enough for the camp to go into full revolt as all of the prisoners and guards are killed off. Skip forward a few years and this same man is now free after battling his way out of that cage. He is sent to Montreal as a guard for Olympic athletes from the USSR. When he takes the athletes to a brothel locally after their begging him, he runs into an old friend… Olga. She’s still alive and now running the Montreal underworld. She kidnaps him once again and intends to do what she once tried: to break him.

The Review: Are you looking for a cheap prison based exploitation film? Maybe something with a decent bit of female nudity and some softcore sex scenes? Sure, you’re probably thinking “well I can get that from ANY Women in Prison flick!” and right you are. Although, how about all of the already mentioned great stuff – but throw in a little bit of gory violence to boot? Well sir, you may want to share those lucky numbers because you just won the lottery because I have two words for you: ILSA FILMS. I’ve already reviewed the original Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS here on the site and actually heard back from the director! Looking back I’ve grown to respect the original Ilsa a lot more now than I did back then; but the rest of the series has turned out to be rather hit or miss. Ilsa: The Wicked Warden was a real disappointment as it just never seemed to get off the ground. A lot of back and forth scripting that seemed to bog the film down and lead to much boredom. Even under the watchful eye of Jesus Franco, often thought to be a king in the softcore world of exploitation, I could not get into the movie. Tigress of Siberia at least bumps up the violence and starts off with two very cool gore sequences. one featuring a spear through the mouth followed by the same poor sap having his head crushed by a massive hammer while his brains fly in the air and his blood leaking head feeds a tiger several feet below. The quality of any film goes up with an intro like that. Follow it up with a tiger mauling and Dyanne Thorne nude and simulating being double penetrated by two ruskies… well, we have us one heck of a first 15 minutes for just about any film! Add to this the massive amount of torture and gory violence in the film spread throughout the full length of the movie and you have what is without a doubt the goriest of all the Ilsa movies. Does that make it the best in the series? Not exactly.

Okay, so you’ve got two guys sitting on the left and right side of a table with chainsaws. They cut into the first six inches of of the table and hold their saws there. Then two convicts, who had each accused one another of stealing, set their arms in the center and begin an arm-wrestling contest. The loser? His arm goes into one of the chainsaws and he is sawed into pieces in the next room. Now if you’re not thinking “quality time”, then what’s wrong with you? This sequence is just part of the really great first half of Ilsa Tigress of Siberia. The problem, and you will have read this everywhere if you have searched out any reviews for the film, is that at roughly the halfway point Tigress changes from being an actual Siberian based Ilsa film with brutal torture sessions and gratuitous nudity – into a Montreal based espionage thriller with Ilsa taking on the heads of a couple of local crime families. It is so unfortunate since in my opinion the setup with the beginning of the film turned out so strong it was looking to topple all other Ilsa films in terms of violence AND sex! Not that the Montreal segments aren’t interesting or fun, in fact they are and even feature a decent bit of violence as well – but it doesn’t really compare to those first thirty minutes of sheer brutality and mayhem. Ilsa moving away from standard slice and dice torture sessions to the cleaner and more efficient mental torture is also a major letdown. These segments border on being simply ridiculous, not only because such technology does not exist but because for pete’s sake this is an Ilsa movie! Although I normally wouldn’t encourage it, but sometimes genre really should dictate what is or is not suitable for a film. If you’re not aware, basically Ilsa hooks up on some new modern technology and instead of simply dismembering her subjects; now she places them in a chair with a monitor in front of them that flashes disturbing imagery. This disturbing imagery then sets off transmissions in the subconscious that a machine attached to the subject can read out and discover their worst fears. Ilsa, err, Olga then uses this information by placing the subject in an isolation tank that somehow uses hallucinogenic powers that trick the subjects into thinking they are witnessing their very worst fears. Like I said, is this James Bond or an Ilsa flick?

Overall Ilsa: Tigress of Siberia is a fairly decent Ilsa flick. It doesn’t do enough to really be great, but it surely isn’t anything worthy of hatred. Most out there disagree with me on this point however it would seem as the general consensus from what I have seen is that The Wicked Warden is the far superior film and that Tigress is the weakest of the series. I simply don’t see that however. Tigress makes a departure from some of the series and its usual motif but for the last film of the sort it needed the new life in my estimation. I won’t say it is a great movie or anything close to it, far from that, but it’s definitely more entertaining than The Wicked Warden but a lesser film than the original (still looking to get Oilsheeks). I recommend it for completest of the series and exploitation fans all around but if you’re expecting a film to rival the original – this won’t leave you satisfied. Though if you’re wanting a little more gore and Dyann Thorne in about three kinky softcore threesomes – this is the film you have waited your entire life for! It’s a three out of five, and well deserving of it too.



Posted by On August - 22 - 2008
The Plot: Jake Vandorn (George C. Scott) is a business owner and upstanding community man in his home town of Grand Rapids. His wife having left him, he has raised his daughter by himself and has done a respectable job of it. When he sends her off to a bible camp of some sort with another family member, it isn’t long before he hears that his daughter has went missing. He travels to California where she was last seen, in LA and asks around before finding a private detective. The private eye (Peter Boyle) takes the case and vows to find her, and after a few weeks he does find… something. He brings back a film can with him to see Jake, where he shows him the footage of his daughter in a threeway with two other males in a seedy silent stag film. She looks terribly uninterested and might be drugged. Jake’s world is shattered, his beautiful and sweet daughter involved in a world like this. Jake travels to LA to meet with his private eye shortly thereafter, and is forced to start his own investigation. Now Jake finds himself in a world he doesn’t understand and on the track of a daughter he isn’t even sure is still alive anymore.

The Review: “If you look at anything from the inside it makes sense! You should hear perverts talk… one guy almost had me convinced to let his German Shepard screw me!” – from the mouth of a porno actress/stripper talking to George C. Scott about his religious beliefs. This little comment doesn’t exactly encompass the entire drive or motivation of Paul Schrader’s Hardcore, but it comes in one of those moments where Scott’s character tries his best to relate to one of these bottomed out young people in this world of depravity – only to find a blank endless sea of filth brimming just under the surface. In this day and age it has become more taboo to talk down on the pornography industry than it has to speak up for it. In this world after Howard Stern and Jenna Jameson, we have sanitized the view of porno so much that a film like Hardcore probably couldn’t even be made. 8MM which came out in 1999 seemed to take a lot of influence (that’s a technical term for stealing, folks, though I will say I’m a big 8mm fan too) from Hardcore but in that film it is mainly focused on the seediest sides of fetishism even at that time. I’m not coming down like a preacher here, that would be pretty hypocritical of me. You think a lonely guy who knows a decent as much about technology and the internet like me doesn’t, you know, have his ways of finding things? Of course, but just because you buy the product doesn’t mean you have to buy everything the salesman slings your way. From everything I have seen, the pornography business has always been and will always be made up of many people unfortunately confused about many things – and now they are making millions off of it. However in 1979, things were unfortunately even worse than they are now. AIDS had not come along yet, but the drug use was at an escalated rate and people in America were still trying to party like the 1960’s. It’s a case of pick your poison, but this world in which Hardcore takes place, although it seems exaggerated, is close to perversion of our obsessed culture and our unrequited search for the next kink. We eat too much, we drink too much, we consume too much and as Scott’s character points out – behind every marketing campaign is someone telling us this or that will get us sex.

The film itself is nowhere near as preachy as I probably seem about right now. The character of Jake, played so brilliantly by one of my favorite actors in George C. Scott, is far from being perfect. No man or woman ever can be, but what can be seen as righteousness from the character is simply his not being as corrupted as the rest of these characters. His vice isn’t of the sexual variety, but one coming from pride. Although I am not familiar with his denomination of Christianity, which seems to follow some far different beliefs than I have heard, his pride and own self indulgence gets in the way of his own spiritual behavior. His focus on his daughter is intense and leaves no room for others, as he wanders through this corrupt and putrid version of California’s sexual underground. When coming upon a young porn actress who takes over the role of his sidekick in the latter half of the film, instead of trying to help this poor confused girl his pride gets in the way. He puts his own morality above her and instead of hearing her stories, he simply shuns her and tells her he would rather not hear about that side of her life. Jake isn’t perfect, but unlike this lawless society underground where everything can be bought and sold, he at least attempts to be a good man. Paul Schrader’s film doesn’t deliver a cut and dry definition of the moral compass one should have while watching the film – so all audiences are going to walk away with a different opinion. I have read opinion pieces where Jake is considered the “villain” of the film, and his quest for his daughter in this underworld is puritanical and baseless without reason. However, if this were true, I think Schrader would have provided more evidence for the audience. Something more than the “big reveal” in the final minutes of the film. Jake doesn’t come across as a bigoted man in my opinion, just a close minded one. He knows his home, he understands the morality there but he does not understand this lawless place with these insidious human beings and he simply doesn’t care to try and understand them. There’s a fair enough line between hate and indifference, and I think Jake walks that line through the picture. Indifference in such subjects, when you can be helping rather than ignoring is a sin of its own however, and no one leaves this film clean. The loss of his daughter can be placed at the man’s feet, but I think at the end of the film it seems obvious that this is just another poor and confused little girl – used and abused by a faceless system; much like the girl who desperately seeks Jake’s help the only difference is one child is his and the other is not.

There’s nothing simple about Hardcore, it is a tough and brilliant film that leaves you with a million questions and the need to talk about it desperately. It is beautiful in the way it was filmed and features several amazing performances that will not be easily forgotten. George C. Scott was such a tremendous talent, who much like Lee J. Cobb – always delivered the heavy performances. Here he is a more mild mannered person trapped under unfortunate circumstances and more often than not subtle in all of his movies – showing just how fantastic he truly was. Every time i see him in just about any film I am always amazed, and I have to say he was under utilized by the Hollywood system. He had an outstanding career, but even if he made two hundred Patton’s, Hardcore’s or Dr. Strangelove’s I still don’t think we the film viewing world would have seen the bottom of his talent. I highly recommend everyone reading this check out Hardcore as soon as possible if you haven’t already. I think the film speaks for itself and you’ll more than likely be left speaking about it once you see it. I came close to giving it a five out of five, but decided at the last second to go with the four. There’s still a bit of ambiguity that could have been cleared up in the film I think; but as it is – Hardcore is an amazing film that I think should have a much larger audience than it currently does.


Don’t Go In The House

Posted by On August - 22 - 2008
Plot Outline: This is the story of Donny Kohler, your average young man who just happened to have been burned on the stove by his mother every time he was naughty when he was a kid. This trauma has inflicted Donny with some severe mental disorders, and after he comes home from work and finds his mom dead, he just flips his lid. At first he’s broken up emotionally, but then he realizes he can do whatever he wants from now on. He does just what you think too, what every young man dreams of doing once out of the reach of their overbearing mothers, he kidnaps young girls ties them up nude and burns them alive… Maybe that’s not a fantasy most have, but it’s what Donny does just the same. So now Donny takes to killing girls on what seems to be a nightly basis, will anyone ever stop him?


The Review: I know this site isn’t exactly one of the most frequently visited sites on the net as of the moment, but if there are any Newsradio (a sitcom, but one of the actual good ones) fans out there, I would like to make an idiotic point if I may. It was during the last season of the show’s run I believe, after the death of the funniest member of the cast Mr. Phil Hartman. After Hartman’s death Jon Lovitz came in to fill his shoes, and unlike some, I personally don’t blame him for the death of the show, it’s just he never really fit into the format. He was often too silly or cute, he’s a funny comedian it just wasn’t his scene. Every once in a while though, Lovitz’s character would actually let something funny loose. Case in point. When Johnny Johnson, the evil corporate tycoon who tries to steal away Jimmy James’ corporation comes around, Max starts following Johnson around like a lap dog. Well, this episode was one such occasion where the character of Max Lewis (Jon Lovitz) was actually funny, he also let out a nugget of wisdom that has stayed with me ever since. When the character of Dave Nelson (Dave Foley) tells Max (Lovitz) that Johnny Johnson is evil, and shouldn’t be associated with, Max tells Dave “Doesn’t that make you want to serve him all the more?”… so very true. Don’t go in the House contains bad acting, plot inconsistencies and is only a ploy to deliver exploitation and sleaze… doesn’t that just make you want to love it all the more? – Thought I was heading nowhere with all that Newsradio talk didn’t you?

I first heard about this flick from Pete who now runs the The Grindhouse Database , he mentioned it in some post I forget, but it surprised me because I had never heard of it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a all knowing guru of horror, I just consider myself to be quite informed on the subject. The real guru of horror is a guy name Mike Bracken, you can check his reviews on I believe. Anyway, I might have heard the title once or so, but I had never actually read about it or anything. So a few days ago I finally got around to checking it out, surprisingly I think I really liked it. I would never go so far as to call the film ‘good’ or well made, but it’s entertaining and unique. First of all, rather than really giving any good guy that stops our lead psycho, the film just kind of unwinds on it’s own. For about 80% of the film it’s just Donny dragging women into his house and killing them, reveling in his new independence from his mother. If that sort of thing bothers you and misogyny grates your nerves, it’s safe to say this flick isn’t for you. Along with I Spit on Your Grave, Last House on the Left and The House on the Edge of the Park, Don’t go in the House is a somewhat sleazy, dark and somber slasher flick. There’s no true home invasion like in the previous films mentioned, but the tone most certainly fits it in the same category. You’ll either be able to look past the bad aspects of the film and enjoy the perversity of it all, or you’ll just hate it. Either opinion seems justified to me.

Although the director didn’t/shouldn’t win any awards, every once in a while there are some interesting visual pieces. Like the dream on the beach, although a little cheesy in places, it was still pretty effective. The different cuts of burned bodies standing in mirrors and such also produced a jolt at some times, something I rarely ever get in my horror films anymore. The single most impressive thing about the film, and what will likely either offend or entrance most audience members, is the first victim of Donny’s rampage. After being tied up in his metallic room and chained to the roof, Donny douses her in gasoline and lights her ablaze with his flame-thrower. Although it’s a little bit fake looking on second glance, it’s still remarkably effective the first time around. I only have vague ideas about how it was achieved, my first instinct is to think they just layered a image of fire over her body, but I’m not sure if the technology for that sort of thing was around back then. Maybe manually laying the fire over the film it’s self. Beats me.

As I said, Don’t Go in the House isn’t going to win any awards, some things in the film just really make you scratch your head. Like, when Donny goes to sleep in the film and has his nightmare, the radio is playing the same song when he wakes up as when he went to sleep. Does the radio station only play this one song? There are plenty of other smaller things, but when I saw that I just howled. It’s the little things like that that draws me to this film. Much like Basket Case, Don’t go in the House isn’t good cinema, but it is entertaining. Some call the film disturbing and hard to handle, I just call it fun. Dig in if you don’t mind getting your hands dirty.




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Varied Celluloid is a film website intent on delivering views on movies from all genres. Started in 2003, the website has been steadfast in its goal and features a database of over 500 lengthy reviews. If you would like to contact us about writing for the website or sending screeners, please visit the about page located here.